And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
