As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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