Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
