so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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