I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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