i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
