I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize