Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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