doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
