I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize