Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
