Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
what the fuck happened to the tacos
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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