There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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