Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
