using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
