I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
