dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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