I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
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