There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize