My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
