i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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