You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
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