I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
