Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize