If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
