Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
