so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
