He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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