hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize