hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
