Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
