i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize