i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
