im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
