It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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