I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
