What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
there is puke in my bra ... again
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