Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
