come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
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