How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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