is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize