i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
