I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I met the friendliest cop last night
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
how do you play pong handcuffed?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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