Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
