i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
