Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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