Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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