I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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