Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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