I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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