you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
