Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
