my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Randomize
