I heard we made out
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
