Already got asked if we're dating
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
