she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
