It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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