my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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