They should really pass out barf bags in church
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
