chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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