Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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