im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
