Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
