The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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