i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
